But I'm the victim!

Have you ever been hurt? Has your trust ever been betrayed? Have you ever been told that you aren't good enough? Have you ever been abused in any way - physically, emotionally, sexually?

If you answered yes to any or all of these questions then you probably know how easy it is to operate with a victim mentality. Letting what happened to you define you and keep you shackled to your hurts.

Most of the students here at Happy Horizons Children's Ranch have been victims of sex trafficking, incest, rape, and physical abuse. They have every right to be angry and bitter and play the victim card.

But you won't find these kids feeling sorry for themselves. No, sir! They have a worship team. Every saturday they serve the families in their community. They have amazing talent - singing, playing instruments, art, dancing, dramas.

Today I got to tag along with one of the three community service groups. The community service
groups meet with 2-4 families, asses their needs, and decide who they should help. Today they chose to help an elderly woman. She is living with her grandchildren who are trying to kick her out. One of her legs has been amputated at the knee. She gathers coconut leaves that have fallen and makes hand brooms. The brooms are sold at 10 pesos each (about 25 cents). On a good day she sells 5. That's about a dollar a day. Barefoot and feeling neglected she longs to have a place of her own.

The community service group will be building her a home! No it won't be big or have running water and may not have electricity but it will be hers.

Watching all of this unfold in front of me made me speechless. How often have I felt like I couldn't help someone because I was busy hurting? How many people have I passed by because I was consumed by my fears of rejection? I was humbled today in a way that I haven't been before.

I am in no way discounting anything that may have happened to you or myself. Your hurt and feelings are valid. I am, however, challenging you to not let hurt and betrayal define you and dictate your life. Jesus has come so that we may have life to the full! John 10:10. God comforts us so that we can in turn comfort others. Don't keep your pain to yourself. Let it empower you to reach out to others that are hurting.

Unlimited!

I met with a new friend this morning. Which is neither here nor there but, on my way home I randomly thought about my cell phone plan. I have unlimited texting, data, mobile to mobile, and I have over 3,000 rollover minutes. (I don't like to talk on the phone ha!) I don't have to worry about going over or reaching my limit.

As I was pondering this the Lord said to me "that's me. What I have for you is unlimited, too!"

Wow! How cool is that?! So many times believers and non-believers alike put limits on God. On what He has and on what He can do. One thing we have to believe and trust, though we may never understand, is that God is not bound by the laws of life, economy, time, or anything the way that we are.

God is the source to our resources. He longs to pour out his blessings upon us but we, in our humanness and ignorance, have put limits on Him. I messed up here or there so now God can't use me. I used to be involved in this or that so I'm disqualified. We limit God. We try to make sense of a supernatural, infinite being with our natural, finite minds.

Jesus was sent to this world to give of his life so that we can have unlimited, unrestricted access to the throne of God. Hebrews 4:16 says "Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." So, because of Jesus, our "disqualifications" don't factor in to how God wants to use us or if he can.

Don't limit God to what you think He should or shouldn't do for you. His word is FULL of people that "don't qualify" yet that is exactly who God chose to use. Wanted to use. You and I are no different. If you are willing to obey then you, too, are limitless. Nothing can keep God from using you or doing crazy, unimaginable things in your life. 

Obedience unlocks the unlimited power, resources, and blessings of heaven.

Luke 6:38 says "Give and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use it, it will be measured to you."

Take the limits off of God and he will show you how unlimited his blessings are for you. When you spend your resources - time, money, emotions - on the things of God you will not run out. You don't have to worry about reaching your limit or draining your resources. God promises to give you a "good measure". Now, He may not provide in the way that you want him to or think he should but he will provide.

Your challenge for the day/week is to ask God where you have limited him in your life. Then, take the limits off and see what God does. I would love to hear your stories! Please share about a time that you have witnessed the limitlessness of God. 

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Tanzania Newsletter

Here is a newsletter that gives you a glimpse into the three months I spent in Tanzania.

Tanzania Newsletter

Check out my other blogs to read stories that didn't make it in the newsletter.
You can also follow me on twitter or friend me on facebook to keep up with what I'm doing and where I'm going.

Thank you all for your support!!! Prayers are appreciated more than you know. Your financial generosity makes it possible for me to live a life of obedience. I couldn't do what I do with our wonderful people like you investing in my life.

Grateful!

Have you heard the one about...

If you are someone who has never left your country it is probable that you would have a skewed idea of what other countries are like. How they cook, what their bathrooms looks like, transportation, language, markets, smells, etc.

I have had the privilege of visiting a few countries. With each visit I become more aware of just how little I know about other cultures. I wish everyone could experience many cultures. It is a gift that will change your life.

I, ignorantly, assumed that it was Americans that didn't know about other cultures. My last trip to Tanzania showed me that this isn't true. (I don't know why it would be.)

These are just a few of the questions I was asked...

Does the washing machine rip your clothes? Does it get your clothes clean?

Do people walk? (As opposed to driving everywhere).

Are there orphans?

Does it rain? Is it cold? Are there mountains? Are you familiar with this kind of weather? (It was about 73 degrees that day).

Do people have HIV?

Are there thieves?

I have a big grin on my face I remember the times and places these questions came up. I'm glad I got to be the one to answer them. I fear that movies and television shows and music from America paint an unrealistic picture of life in the States - not only for foreigners but also for ourselves.

If you don't have the opportunity to visit another country I urge you to take the time to research a country you're interested in. Talk to people who have been there. Try find a restaurant that has good authentic food from that country.  Some of the best people to talk to would be missionaries. They see the heart of the country - good, bad and ugly. They know the people. The sights. The smells. The sounds.


I can never say thank you enough to those of you who pray for me and support me financially. Without your partnership I would not be able to do what I do. You all play a HUGE role in me getting to do what I created to do. I am blessed to get to travel the world and experience different cultures. May the Lord bless you as you invest in what He is doing in my life!

I have decided to follow Jesus. No turning back.

Today is day 11 back in the good ol' U.S. of A. I am still adjusting and processing. One thing keeps coming to mind. There's no going back.

 

I can never go back to life before missions. Life before experiencing other cultures.

We sang this song at church on Sunday, "I have decided to follow Jesus. No turning back. Though none go with me. Still I will follow. No turning back."

At the sound of the first note of the song my heart jumped to my throat and tears filled my eyes. This song was a favorite of my late youth pastor, PT. As I reminisced about the few short years I had with him I realized that he is responsible for my missionary life. It was with him that I did my very first mission trip. It was a two week trip to the Philippines in 2001. My life hasn't been the same since. He showed me, not only a part of the world I have never seen before, but that I -ME- could some how make a difference. I could be part of God's plan to change lives, circumstances, communities, and generations.

Yes, I know there is work that can and needs to be done here. But God gives each of us an assignment, a role. My lot is to be an international missionary. There is nothing that compares to the feeling and fulfillment of doing what you know you were made to do. For me that is traveling to other countries and sharing Jesus.

Like the song says, no turning back. I've tasted and seen why God created me and I refuse to settle for anything less. Like the song also says, though none go with me still I will follow. Countless times I have felt like I'm traveling this road alone. Sometimes because there aren't many that choose this path and sometimes because people just don't/can't/won't understand. If following Jesus means that I will be alone on this journey-leaving my family, country, and comforts of home-  then so be it. I don't regret for a second the choice I've made to follow Jesus or to do missions.

My hope and prayer is that you, too, will seek what it is that God has created you to do. What is your purpose? Are you living that purpose? I have this theory. Whatever it is that you are passionate about- helping single parents learn how to budget, starting a group home, domestic missions, international missions, starting a non profit, teaching life skills to at risk youth, taking in pregnant teens, talking to your neighbors, interceding for our gov't/country, photography, sports, technology- whatever it is, THAT is your purpose. God has given each of us a passion. (And it may be something you're not good at doing so that you will rely full on Him). Some of us have suppressed it because it doesn't make sense or it's too late or whatever reason the enemy has tricked you into believing. As long as you are still here on earth God has an abundant life, adventure filled, purpose for you!

Pursue that purpose regardless of what society says or your friends say or your family. One of the many, many cool things about God is that He does 99% of the work. We don't have to be qualified or educated or equipped. All we have to do is obey. That's it. He will do EVERYTHING else. By everything I mean provide, equip, empower, enable, and cover you. He has more than enough and is waiting to pour it out on anyone whose heart is turned to him and is willing to obey.

I have decided to follow Jesus. No turning back.

Dear Pastors, Stop!

In my search for a church home in Springfield, MO I went with a friend to her church. (Just between us, it felt more like a concert.) The end of the service came when the pastor invites (or is supposed to invite) the congregation to make the choice to follow Jesus. To my surprise and astonishment he said, "I'm not going to embarrass you by asking you to raise your hand or walk up front..."

Wait. What?? What just happened?

From that day, over a year ago, until now I have become more aware of these so called "alter calls". It deeply saddens me that pastors have associated choosing to follow Jesus with embarrassment. To me, that goes against everything Jesus is and the heart of the New Testament church.

Pastors, if we don't encourage people to be bold in making the choice to follow Jesus inside of the church how in the world can we expect them to live their faith boldly outside of the church? In the world. In a place that will chew you up and spit you out at the hint of you having faith in God.

If all of heaven rejoices when even one person commits their life to following Jesus then the church should do the same. The "alter call" time should be full of rejoicing and hope! The church is a place that has been set apart, consecrated to God. A place where believers come and worship together in unity. A place that welcomes anyone and everyone. A place where it should be safe to choose to follow Jesus without feeling embarrassed.

Can you imagine the Apostle Paul asking people to close their eyes and slyly raise their hands if they believe in Jesus and want to live for him? Ha! Yeah right. Yet, several times, when Paul shared the gospel- *no gimmicks, no coffee shop, no lasers, no smoke machine- thousands of people chose to follow Jesus. Yes, thousands.

As a church we should create an atmosphere of conviction rather than comfort. When God wants to change things in our lives (conviction) it is always for our good. It is always out of his deep, relentless love for us. Church should be a place of change. Change isn't comfortable. If we stay comfortable we won't change.

Pastors, fellow Christ followers, will you join with me in asking God to use us to create an atmosphere of conviction- at church, at home, at work? After all, it is God's sweet conviction and loving kindness that leads us to repentance. That turns our hearts to him. Will you join me in encouraging new believers to be bold in their decision to follow Jesus?

*side note: I'm not saying coffee shops, lasers, and smoke machines are bad. I'm saying we should be careful to not let them distract us from the tender touch of the Holy Spirit drawing our hearts to the Father or distract us from showing God the reverence he so deserves. 

My detox story. As told by me.

It's two months into my unexpected detox. I have not watched television, listened to the radio, or been to the movies. The power goes off randomly anywhere from 5 mins up to 22 hours. I have to warm up the water for my bucket shower. Sunny days means laundry day. Rainy days means water to wash, cook, and clean with.

It wasn't until about three days ago I realized I have been unknowingly detoxing from the pressures of American media and way of life. I have not been bombarded by advertisements that use sex to sell their product, commercials pushing consumerism and materialism, pressure to dress or act a certain way to impress, no one has taken my beliefs out of context and turned them into hate, and I haven't been exposed to inappropriate humor or behavior. I haven't used a washing machine, heater or a/c, toaster, microwave, or oven.

All of these things and then some have been so accepted in our society that it seems "normal" or "just the way things are these days".

I must say that I feel so free and light. Don't get me wrong, I love America and appreciate the opportunities that it offers. And the food! But, sometimes, as Christians, we have to examine the parts of the world that we have come to accept and participate in that don't honor God as far as media is concerned. Also, to examine if we are caught up in the flow of having to attain. There's even pressure to have gadgets to simplify our complicated lives. I can't help but think that the more gadgets we get the more complicated things become ha.

Being away from the media has shown me so much of the things in my life that offend God. I've also learned a much slower more simple way of life. I am learning the value of genuine community. It seems that there is a greater sense of community because of the simple way of living.

Now that I am aware of things in my life that offend God or try to distract me from him I can't just ignore it. I am looking forward to another month of detox and letting God continue to cleanse me and show me ways to have a simple life in the land of excess. Yes, I will thoroughly enjoy an actual shower and going to restaurants and grocery stores and sleeping without a mosquito net and the other great amenities of life in the States! I just don't want to get back to a place of needing them or the mindset that says I deserve them or being consumed by them, ya know? Good things lose their good-ness when they take our focus off of God even if it is only slightly.

A.W. Tozer says, "The evil habit of seeking God-and effectively prevents us from finding God in full revelation. In the "and" lies our great woe. If we omit the "and" we shall soon find God, and in Him we shall find that for which we have all our lives been secretly longing."

This "detox" has shown me the many "ands" I have been seeking along with trying to seek God. God and money. God and success. God and relationships. God and purpose. God and identity. The "ands" hinder me from finding God in the way that I want to and need to. In Him alone is everything I long for.